Elizabeth
by deathequalsoul
Summary: After Edward leaves, danger befalls Bella. she gets raped and is left broken, destroyed, and pregnant. How does she deal. And then what happens when the Cullens come back?
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone! This is my new story called Elizabeth. I really hope you guys like it!

I'm sorry for not updating my other stories more, but I just…I know . : D

Disclaimer: Rice. Rice. Rice. Rice. I. Chew. Don't. Chew. Own. Twilight. Chew. Sob. Sob. Don't mind me, I'll be alright. Sob. CRY!

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"Shh, mommy's here. Mommy will take care of you, always."

I kissed Elizabeth's downy head gently and laid her back down in her crib while I sung softly to her.

I sung my lullaby to her; it calmed not only Elizabeth, but also me. After all this time, It still gave me a serene feeling every time I heard it.

Elizabeth cooed delicately, while drool came spilling out of her little mouth. She reached her hands out to me, wanting to be held.

"No dear, you need to sleep. Aren't you tired at all? Mommy here could just die from exhaustion. No? Fine."

I picked the plump little girl out of the crib and started to rock her tenderly. For a couple minutes, all I could do was stare, stare at the girl that was my daughter.

I watched the pink eyelids start to slowly droop and close, finally letting me know she had fallen asleep.

The dark, hazel hair, the slightly pointed noise and brown eyes always reminded me that this child was not _his_. And yet, I still loved her and would die for her if need be. I slowly moved towards the corner of the room where the rocking chair sat and sat down, still holding Elizabeth.

I turned on the lamp next to the chair and looked around the light green room. The ebony striped wallpaper circling the room was the central design to all the furniture in Elizabeth's room. Her oak crib contained an array of frog stuffed animals and white polka dotted pillows.

Everything in Elizabeth's room was traditional, except for the very rocking chair I was sitting on now. It was shaped as a crescent moon and was actually very modern.

Holding Elizabeth brought back so many memories, painful and happy.

_Flashback_

"_Push, push Bella! One more time, you're doing so great! Come on, Bella, we know you have it in you!" My best friend, Susan, was calling out. _

_If I weren't in so much pain, I would've been laughing at the situation. _

_Susan had given me a metal spatula to hold since she didn't want me to break her nails during labor. _

_I had so far gone through three spatulas, two Elmer's glue bottles, and eighteen hours of labor. _

_I felt as if I were being turned inside out while there was a raging fire going on. Well, either that or having to sit through a whole day of that Disney Channel show Hannah Montana. _

"_Aahhhhhhhhhhhghghhhhhhhghhhh!" My screech filled the room, just as a wailing cry echoed. _

_I sagged as the pain finally stopped and I could breathe again. The sweat rolling down my head was gently wiped off and I distinctly heard if I would like to hold my daughter. _

_The tears were gathering in my eyes as I looked at my beautiful baby girl. _

_I instantly knew, Elizabeth. I would name her Elizabeth. _

"_Elizabeth," I whispered._

_Perfect._

_End Flashback_

I was startled at Elizabeth twisted in my arms and then settled back down.

Even after a year, even after all that pain, even after all that hysteria and sleepless nights, she was still perfect.

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I love you guys. :D Tell me how you feel? Continue? Stop? Make up your minds!! Haha. Jk.


	2. Chapter 2

_Even as perfect and loved as she was, I could help but just to cringe on how she was conceived_

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Hey guys, this is the next chapter!! This is where I tell you guys how she got pregnant…and wait, I shouldn't tell you guys. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: oh the pain, the agony. You guys know. :D Or else, I wouldn't be writing on FANfiction. Ahha.

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Even as perfect and loved as she was, I could help but just to cringe on how she was conceived. How she had no father, no one besides me, Charlie, and Susan to love her.

Flashback

"_No please! Please leave me alone! Please!" I cried out as the stranger ripped at my jeans, unsuccessfully getting the zipper down, instead ripping the whole thing off._

_I cried out as his warm hands hit my flesh. _

"_You like that, don't you, you whore?" The tears were now streaming down my face as he undid his jeans and gave me a dirty smile full of yellowing teeth. _

_I remembered that night like it was a dream, as if I were somewhere above looking down. _

_I could distinctly feel the man thrust into me, at last taking away my innocence. _

_The pain was so intense, especially since he wasn't even using a shred of gentleness. _

"_A virgin, eh? Well, just my luck, " he said as he continually shoved, sending shooting pain throughout my body. _

_If only I had stayed at home, if only I had listened to Charlie, if only, if only. _

_It had happened just like that other night in Port Angeles, except this time, Ed-HE wasn't there to save me. To take me away from these dirty men. _

"_Can't get away this time, we're not even close to finishing with you!"_

"_Come on, don't hog her! The rest of us want a turn too!" I struggled to turn my head at least, since I couldn't even escape, not with five men surrounding me, all "wanting a turn." _

_I continued to sob, tears streaming down my face, as I continually tried to scream through all the agony. _

"Ah, shut up already! We don't want to hear another word!" And with that, they shoved a dirty looking piece of cloth in my mouth, almost choking me to death.

_If only that could happen, I thought. _

_Maybe I'll be lucky and I won't have to live through another night without HIM by my side. Maybe then, I could be happy. Oh please, please, let this all end. _

_I was roughly pushed onto the ground as they changed partners. I then tried to get up, to run to safety. Maybe into civilization, where someone could save me. Save me from all this hurt and suffering. _

_I continually wriggled, trying to get away from all this nausea. But they thought I would try that and grabbed my arms and forced my arms onto the ground. I'll get major bruises from that, I thought as the rocky surface beneath me scratched my arms. _

_I whimpered as the last man finished and spilled into me, pulling his pants back on. _

"_Worthless piece of crud, not even a good one!" And with that, a spat from each landing on my face, they all walked away, leaving me in the dark. _

_I thought it was over, but one came running back to kick me in the ribs and wipe my bottom to get rid of the "evidence." _

_Yeah right, I thought. _

_I don't know how long I lay there with my pants gone. Maybe hours, minutes, seconds, I don't know. But I could just feel every emotion float through me. Violated. Hurt. Lonely. Desolate. Finally, all I felt was numbness. Nothing. _

_All this was going through my mind as I finally got up and took off my jacket to tie it around my waist to try and at least cover up some of my exposed privates. _

_I don't even know how long I walked. All I knew was that I had to get home, to forget all of this. _

_The night sky and empty streets would usually have creeped me out, but now, I could feel nothing. No fear, not pain, nothing. _

_When I got home, only the porch light was on and I knew that Charlie was asleep. Asleep, not knowing the horror that had just happened to me. _

_I slowly climbed the stairs, just getting out of all my clothes, not bothering to change, not bothering to shower. _

_All I could do was sleep, and hope that this was all a dream. _

_End Flash._

I didn't even figure out that I was pregnant until three weeks later, when I continuously woke up with nausea and cramps.

Even though that night was the worst, one good thing came out of it, Elizabeth.

The object of my thoughts turned in her sleep and so I put her gently back down in the crib.

"Goodnight, Elizabeth, I'll see you tomorrow, well today," I said as I glanced at the clock. 5:31 it read.

Great, I thought, only a one more hour until I get up to start the day.

Well, I know I can't fall asleep; I might as well "start the day."

I kissed Elizabeth's head before I headed back to my room to shower.

I sighed in content as the hot water rushed down my back, instantly relieving me of my stress.

The pounding of the water, coupled with my favorite strawberry shampoo did wonders for me.

As I was stepping out of shower, I suddenly thought about how my life would've turned out if THEY had stayed. I wouldn't have been raped, but then I wouldn't have had Elizabeth.

How I longed to be back in HIS arms, where I knew I would always be safe. And yet, I knew I could never be back there, especially since I knew he didn't even want me.

How he lied to me all those months, when he said he loved me. He left, a clean break.

And I haven't heard from him since, not in year. No one to comfort me through all that pain, especially when the whole school practically shunned me for being pregnant, for being raped, for something that wasn't even my fault.

There was not doubt that I would keep the baby; I couldn't bear to abort it, not even to give her up for adoption. She was mine.

I was the one who had to carry her for nine months, through all those mood swings, food cravings, she was mine.

The familiar thought of HIM and THEM sent a pang of anguish shooting through my heart.

Stop it, Bella, there's not use in thinking about them. You can't change the fact that they left without a goodbye, without a word, without love.

I crumpled to the ground as I let the numbness leave and the ache spread through me.

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Did you guys at least like this chapter?


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys! Another chappie! Kind of a filler, but it has some action in it. :D

Oh yeah, one reviewer suggested I get a Beta, and I was wondering if any of you would like to be my Beta?? Thanks. Enjoy!

Because of course, I write my stories for all of you guys!

EBEBEBEBEBBEBEBEBEBEBEBEB

After getting up off the bathroom floor, I was just getting ready to dress when I heard the unmistakable wail of Elizabeth. I rushed out the bathroom, slinging a towel around me, running to see what had caused all the fuss.

When I walked into Elizabeth's room, I first noticed that all her frog stuffed animals were thrown across the room and the blanket that was previously wrapped around Elizabeth was currently all the way across the room on top of the dresser.

I carefully walked to the edge of Elizabeth's crib and peeked at her. Her tomato red face was scrunched up tight and tears were rolling down her face in big fat droplets.

"Aw, Lizzy, what's wrong? Did you make a poopie? Are you hungry?" I asked as I pulled her diaper down to check for any do-hickies, but as I found none, I came to the conclusion that she was indeed hungry for her breakfast.

"Okay, here we go," I said as I picked her up and walked out of the room, "Mommy's just going to get dressed real fast, then you can have your bottle. Is that okay?"

I dropped her on my bed and rushed to my closet to get dressed in a pink/white printed dress and topped that off with a white cropped sweater. (Picture in profile) (Now I realize that Bella wouldn't usually wear something so bright, but today she was feeling happy)

"How does this look? Bad? Or maybe gorgeous?" I asked smiling while Lizzy giggled and reached out to me, waiting to be picked up.

I swung her into my arms, giving her a twirl before walking down the stairs-careful not to trip with my baby in my hands-and taking a bottle out of the fridge to be heated.

While the bottle heated, I tickled and poked Lizzy until her face turned that nice shade of red and her chubby little arms and legs wriggled until her laughter filled the room.

"Dee Dee Deeee!" The microwave sounded telling me Lizzy's milk was warm. I retrieved the bottle and placed Lizzy onto the high chair so that she could start her breakfast. While she ate hers, I quickly grabbed my daily granola and cereal, noticing too late the time.

"Oh jeez! I'm gonna be late!" I quickly dropped my bowl and Lizzy's bottle in the sink and rushed upstairs to dress Lizzy for her day with Grandpa Charlie.

Getting into Lizzy's room, I grabbed whatever was on top of the pile in the dresser for her to wear, which happened to be a white frilly shirt and a pair of lavender overalls over it. How cute, I thought to myself as I fixed a purple ribbon in Lizzy's soft hair.

This time I made the mistake of running down the stairs, my toe caught the banister and I went falling down the stairs, Lizzy in my arms. Nooo, I thought to myself. I quickly used my body as a shield to cover Lizzy in case the stairs hit her head, which ended up in me getting about ten thousand bruises all over my body. Oh jeez, again, I thought, such a great way to start the day.

I quickly checked to see if Lizzy was hurt and was glad to see that she wasn't bruised or hurt in any way. I slipped on Lizzy's purple booties and my blue sandals and finally was on my way out the door.

I placed Lizzy in the baby seat of my red Ford Fusion and was off to Charlie's house, only a couple minutes away.

I really hadn't moved all that much when I moved in with Susan, my best friend who moved to Forks from California. Her college courses made it so that she wasn't home most nights and wasn't bothered by Lizzy's constant crying or feeding and it was actually quite convenient for me and Lizzy. I visited Charlie often, seeing as how close we lived, but now it was pretty awkward after the fight between Jacob and me a few months ago.

Charlie insisted I visit Jacob and apologize to him and this itself infuriated me. How could Charlie believe that Jacob was more right than his own daughter? But oh well, it was a lost cause.

After Ed-HE left, Jacob insisted that I move in with him, to help take care of me and my new baby. But while I insisted I was fine with Susan, I knew his hidden reasons. I couldn't believe how hardheaded he was being on the fact that he thought I might just fall in love with him! How could he think that after all we've been through? But then again, that might've been his reason in the beginning.

He continued to argue with me and it actually got big enough to the point where we decided that even being friends right now was too much. And even though I knew Jacob loved Elizabeth, he didn't even know her, and I wouldn't- no couldn't- give him that chance.

We stopped all forms of communication and I didn't even have the heart to tell Charlie, leading him to believe that one day, we would hug and be the best of friends again. Maybe more in his eyes. At least I knew this would never happen.

And he-Jacob-didn't approve of Susan, which I didn't understand at all. What's there to not like I just think? Everyone loves her. She's sweet, nice, caring, and the most beautiful person I've ever met-inside AND out. (Cough cough Rosalie cough) She had that expected California tan, the rich, black hair, and the athletic skills to match. And to prove how much people enjoyed being around her, her boyfriend transferred colleges and moved to Forks just to be closer to her.

For some reason, Jacob hated Susan's guts and when I questioned why-ready to defend her- he just answered, "I just don't like her, does there need to be a reason?" I was speechless.

And in all my daydreaming, guess what happened. I ran over Charlie's mailbox. Whoops, I thought.

EBEBEBEBEBBEBEBEBEBEBEBEB

"Here's her diaper bag, list of emergency people in case something happens, list of what she's allergic to, her-"

"Bella, I can handle this. How many times have I babysat Elizabeth? Many, that's right. I'm police chief too, in case of an emergency I know what to do. And really Bella, you need to get a move on, you're going to be late for school."

"Okay, okay, I'm leaving. By dad! Bye Lizzy!"

EBEBEBEBEBBEBEBEBEBEBEBEB

So what'd you guys think?? Again, I ask the same questions every time, but I don't really know what else to ask?

You know, like how was your day? Please leave a message, I really want to hear about your day.

No I'm kidding, if you guys are feeling generous and feel like telling me about your day, I'd love that.

Oh, I know, the sarcasm is rich.


	4. Chapter 4

hey guys! i'm so incrdibly sorry i haven't updated in awhile...and i hate excuses, but here's mine. Graduation practice is so much fun! Sitting out in the sun for five hours a day with your hands nicely crossed with a big 'ol smile on your face while the principal reads 460 names out loud AND your're sweating like crazy and there's nothing you cna do about it. And then during the real thing, when every girl wore heals, they sunk into the grass, you had to pick up your whole leg just to take the next step. so funny-that was actually funny. And then, get this-it's even better- not getting chosen to do a speech, then having to listen to the person who DID get chosen rub it in your face then read some crappy speech like it was so much better. but you guys know, i'm not dwelling on it or anything, not even thinking about it. oh, so much fun. :D anyways, i hope you guys like the chapter.

Disclaimer: you know, one of my friends-who reads fanfiction-told me she hates it when people-authors-write really long disclaimers disclaiming stephenie's works, and you guys know something? i wanted to smack her, just kidding. anyways, this disclaimer is already really long and i'll just let you guys read the chapter.

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Bella's POV:

Forks High School really hadn't changed all that much in the last year, except now I was a senior. And as a senior, there were certain things expected at you, the type of stereotypical things, for example walking down the hallway in slow motion. You know the one, the hair flying, the perfect makeup, the queen-like waving, the type of slow gliding, the glow surrounding you, but not only that, as a senior you were suppose to be having the time of your life.

Oh, and did I mention, you were supposed to have the perfect boyfriend.

Now this thought and the previous killed me instantly. Home was the only place where I was truly happy, well as happy as you can get when the love of your life just up and leaves one day. Leaving behind a broken girl, a shell of what she used to be, but he didn't know this.

At school, the place where I met him, was where I just couldn't keep the 24-hour façade on any longer. The smile disappeared, the cool and calm demeanor changed instantly, and my whole posture just fell as I set foot in the school parking lot. As I slowly walked towards my first period, math, I couldn't but help to wonder how happy and carefree I would've been if HE were still around.

I kept trying to convince myself that I could live each and every day alone-I no longer socialized, I mean, what was the point- without HIM. Without him, my life was meaningless. WAIT, what was I saying? I had the best thing in the whole wide world! And that was Elizabeth. I would gladly die for her now, that's how much I loved her. I would just have to get over my own agonies and care for Elizabeth. She was the only thing left to live for in this world.

But I was proud of myself too. I've been so much better than when he had just left. I could breathe now; I could function again. When he had just left, I was almost catatonic. There was a gaping hole in my heart that I knew would never be filled by anyone else. HE was the only for me. And if he never wanted to see me again, I would just have to get over it. If only for Elizabeth.

Why was I having such depressing thoughts? Why now of all times? I thought I was over such random thinking of painful pasts?

RIIIIING!

Saved by the bell.

I had always trudged through four classes in a daze: Math, Human Anatomy II, P.E., and then history.

But this class was different, for some reason, it seemed as if every emotion I felt was intensified. And it just seemed strange.

Usually in Human Anatomy II, not Biology, memories of first seeing EDWARD flooded my mind, almost to the point of overflowing my brain. And usually, I could handle it. But this time I couldn't handle it anymore. I dashed out of the classroom, yelling a quick apology and excuse of stomachache to the teacher, and into the girl's restroom.

Gasping, I threw myself atop the toilet in on the stalls and threw up what little I had of breakfast. After washing my hands and face thoroughly with freezing, cold water, I just stood there with my hands grasping the sink counter. Salty warm tears were falling faster and faster down my face, quickly pooling on the ground, while more and more were rolling across my cheeks. My chest heaving, I looked to see how bad I looked in the mirror: hair sticking up everywhere, eyes wild, heavy dark bags under my eyes, face all blotchy and red, and the normal pale as a ghost skin. This was all normal except for the fact that I looked (and felt) terrible. My skin now was not only pale, but had a grayish tinge to it, it was also sort of hanging off my bones, as though it were too tired to stay firm and tense. I had also lost a lot of weight, especially after my little barfing session, so much that I almost looked like a skeleton.

I had never noticed how much I had let myself go. At least before-when HE was still around-I tried to look the best I, as a human, could, but now, there seemed to be no point. Well, besides Elizabeth, but it wasn't as if she could even remember what I looked like at her age.

I tiredly rubbed my hands down my face. By now, third period had already started and ended, much to my surprise. Was I really in here that long? I thought. I guess time really does fly when you're thinking.

Edward's POV:

Another same boring day; one year had already passed. How quickly AND slowly time seemed to move when I was away from my Bella.

_She's not your Bella anymore, idiot. _

I was only doing it for her own good!

Yeah, sure, you just keep telling yourself that. When in reality, you've seen what Alice has seen! If you think that's for her own good, then your going crazy!

Having me around her put her in danger 24/7!

_But she didn't mind. She was IN LOVE WITH YOU! Doesn't love overcome all of that?_

Doesn't love also mean giving up everything up for that special person, even if it means giving up your own happiness? And if that means giving her that happy human life she couldn't have with me, I'd do anything.

But doesn't that go both ways? She would gladly give up that life to be with YOU. Just listen to me, I'm your subconscious, you need her. She needs you. Go back.

And I had actually had this conversation many, many times with myself, but I finally thought, why don't I go back? Just to go back to check up on her, that's all. Just one peek and then I'll leave.

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hey guys, what'd you think?

p.s. sorry to sound so bitchy-or just mean- in my beginning AN, i was just kind of-SORT OF-mad and sweaty.


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